On The Sad Height
by Zhang Sizheng
Summary: Morals never stopped Orochimaru from keeping the dead from their rest. After being summoned in battle and forced to fight his own son, Hatake Sakumo wakes in the ruins of Otogakure and decides he wants to go home. Too bad 'home' was twenty five years ago…


* * *

**Sizheng: **In my defence, _it wasn't supposed to be this long_. But I couldn't break it up very smoothly, and had to post as is. I have about eight chapters planned so far, and if each of them turn out to be roughabouts this length then HALP. Thanks to _Checkerbloom_, my beloved wife and collaborative partner in this endeavour, who, although having not actively written (part of the reason this chapter has been such crap) has been invaluable in keeping me calm and letting me bounce plot ideas and characterisations off her. Huge thanks also to _BeautifulSilverSilence_,_ Novocain _and _Verna Jast_ for their unwavering support and allowing themselves to be sounding boards and reading the snippets I shoved under their noses when I was just about ready to throw the first four thousand words out the window.

While the story was originally written for _**Checkerbloom**_ (and her being the chief collaborative partner!), the chapter dedication is all to wonderwife _Novocain_, who read through the final draft and stayed up with foolish little me 'til six AM her time. Sweet dreams, darling.

* * *

**On The Sad Height**

A Naruto fanstory conceived and written by Zhang Sizheng

With collaborative aid from Checkerbloom

_For Checkerbloom_

**Part One: With Blinding Sight**

* * *

"So the aphrodisiac's uncorked, and since Genma's about to pass out, he just threw it at where her voice was coming from," Kotetsu wheezed, "but it was dark in the barn and he was so stoned he missed the lady and splashed it all over the place instead!"

Iruka rolled his eyes at the chortling duo. "How many times have you _told _this story?" he asked drily, fighting a grin. "Look, I have to file this before Tsunade-sama eviscerates me and serves me to her slugs, so—"

"No, no, just listen to this," Izumo gasped. "This is the best part!"

"So he spills the aphrodisiac, then," Kotetsu guffawed, "he wakes up two hours later and… and even though he ran like mad the heifer wouldn't leave him alone until he was over the border!"

Izumo was hysterical before Kotetsu had even finished the story, and after a long moment of trying to keep his mouth from twitching, Iruka gave up, expelling a loud snort of laughter. The idea and accompanying image of an amorous cow pursuing the hapless Shiranui Genma-san across three countries was more humorous than even his work ethic could take. Until the door slammed open, that is.

The seldom-donned coat of office swirled about Tsunade-sama's voluptuous frame as she stepped out. She turned an imperious eye to her three chūnin assistants' hastily schooled expressions, and only rigid discipline kept the trio from squirming in their seats.

"When the lot of you are done giggling like pre-genin schoolgirls," her voice was dangerously sweet, "I'd like Team Kurenai assembled and reporting in my office _yesterday_." Her eyes lingered pointedly on Iruka, whose desk's normally pristine surface was dominated by the stack of mission reports he'd been "filing" for the last half-hour. "Iruka, you will bring them to me."

"Y-yes, Hokage-sama," he stammered. Damnit, Izumo and Kotetsu _always _got him into trouble, the bastards…

Her expression was suddenly void of all its deceptive kindness, and she slapped a hand into against the wall, causing an ominous web of cracks to issue from the dented plaster. All three chūnin flinched. "And," her voice was suddenly very hard, "under _no _circumstance whatsoever will Hatake Kakashi know of this." Sickeningly cheerfully— "Or else the lot of you will be suspended from all and any paying jobs within the village for the _next six years_."

Surely that symphony of acquiescent squeaks had not just come from their throats. Of course they hadn't. Puberty had been ten years ago.

Apparently satisfied with the level of terror she had just instilled within her loyal and devoted subordinates, Tsunade-sama nodded in satisfaction, and the door slipped shut.

A flutter of papers indicated the hasty assembly of several neat stacks of sorted reports, the now pale Izumo and Kotetsu scribing feverishly and Iruka's hasty retreat from the scene as he darted off in search of Yuuhi Kurenai.

* * *

Kurenai was proud of her team. Kiba, Shino and Hinata had all passed the chūnin exams two months ago, receiving commendations from several of the chūnin elite serving as examiners. They had experienced exceptional growth in ability and maturity since coming under her tutelage, and she was extremely fond of all three, especially the quiet, demure young Hinata.

In spite of their improvement, however, her more tracking and reconnaissance-inclined team was often overshadowed by the sheer firepower of Team Gai, the flawless teamwork and strategic genius of Asuma's students and even the unfortunate infamy of Kakashi's now disbanded Team Seven. The fact that Hokage-sama, at least, recognised the ability of Kurenai's children made her ache with an emotion resembling vindicated pride.

Now, Kurenai and her team stood in respectful silence before their village's leader. Tsunade-sama's fierce, honey-brown eyes swept over and through the four of them in clear assessment before she spoke.

"According to our sources outside the country, there's been an increase of shinobi activity near the border we share with Ta no Kuni," Tsunade-sama pushed forward a few sheets in silent invitation as she spoke. Kurenai took them after a short pause, her crimson eyes scanning the intelligence missive as she considered the implications of what her leader was saying: the Land of Rice Fields was the country from which Orochimaru based his operations. "I want a thorough report of the area within five leagues of the border, and an investigation looking into whether or not those movements are related to Otogakure and Orochimaru."

Kurenai saw Kiba stop shuffling—he'd been restless since being asked to leave Akamaru outside the tower—to stand just a little taller, and she stifled a grin. Her students were so adorable sometimes.

"I don't like to fill my shinobi's heads with fluffy compliments," the older woman said in her usual, brusque manner, "but ranks aside, you are one of Konoha's most capable tracking and information-gathering teams. The Hyūga eyes, the Inuzuka nose and the Aburame chakra-sensing abilities combine to form a reconnaissance team of considerable ability, and—"

"Saa," an aggravatingly familiar baritone interjected lazily, "This isn't like you, Hokage-sama. I can smell the flowery praise you're dressing them up with."

Kurenai normally liked Kakashi-san. She really did. She had a healthy respect for his track record as a shinobi, his enviable intelligence and his prodigious ability. But at that moment, she felt as if she would like nothing more than to throttle the silver-haired man standing in the corner into oblivion.

And if the unspeakably livid expression on their leader's face was any indication, she evidently felt the same.

Whereas Hinata looked nervously between the room's inhabitants, Kiba and even Shino looked a little disgruntled. Apparently oblivious to the abundance of less than ecstatic feelings regarding his sudden appearance, Kakashi shrugged and palmed at the back of his head, his visible eye arcing in guileful cheer.

"What are you doing here, Kakashi?" Kurenai hissed from the corner of her mouth as he sauntered carelessly forward, drawing level with her.

"Picking up a mission," was the lazy reply. "Yo."

"Wait your turn," Kurenai said shortly. A spike of irritation lanced at her insides as she regarded his laconic stance—right hand fisted casually behind his back, the other held loosely at his side. "Hokage-sama specifically requested _my _team's presence and was just briefing us when you interrupted." She stopped and swallowed. The air was getting thicker—Tsunade-sama was definitely _not pleased_.

"Hatake Kakashi." At Kurenai's side, Kiba and Hinata were gagging on the suffocating, metallic weight of Tsunade-sama's battle aura, and what showed of Shino's pale skin had grown even paler. Kakashi-san, on the other hand, looked frustratingly unperturbed in spite of the full brunt of her fury being directed at _him_. In fact, he looked almost irritated.

"Problem, Hokage-sama?" he asked mildly.

Kurenai began re-evaluating every occasion she had praised him in the past, because Hatake Kakashi didn't deserve to be a ninja. He clearly had _no self-preservation instincts whatsoever_.

"As a matter of fact, yes; there _is_ a problem," Tsunade-sama was all sweetly malicious smiles again. "I want to know what the _hell_ you think you're doing here."

Kakashi didn't flinch. "Picking up a mission," he repeated blithely. "Although _my _team is—"

"Kakashi-sensei!"

Kurenai wondered why Tsunade's features took on its despairing cast in response to the pink-haired girl's sudden appearance. Haruno Sakura-chan lingered by the half-open door, darting her eyes between Tsunade-sama and Kakashi-san. "Kaka—Kakashi-sensei? Pakkun said…"

"You're late, Sakura," his tone was two parts mocking and one part fondness as she trailed timidly in to stand at his left. "But just in time." He inclined his head congenially to the empty space at his right. "Gai."

A grunt of frustration and a whirl of leaves preluded the appearance of three more shinobi in the seething Godaime's office. Team Gai's namesake and leader, his equally vibrant student, and Hinata's silent cousin arrayed themselves neatly behind Kakashi and the pink-haired girl, young Rock Lee having narrowly missing landing on Haruno's head. And as Gai was wont to do, he immediately broke into a loud, flourishing speech to announce his arrival.

"Kya! So cool! As usual, my Eternal Rival's Perceptiveness is a Refreshing and Modern breeze in Yesterday's…" He trailed off hesitantly. "Hokage-sama?" Because not even Maito Gai could remain oblivious to such murderous battle intent.

"Kakashi," Tsunade-sama growled, to Kurenai's chagrin and vindicated satisfaction, "This is a _blatant _display of insubordination."

"No, Esteemed Leader," Kakashi-san said carefully. "I'm merely bringing an urgent request to your attention."

"Denied," Tsunade-sama said, almost before Kakashi-san had finished speaking. "Now get out. I'll deal with you later." The normally warm colour of her eyes had grown frigid with anger, and the temperature in the room had dropped dramatically. "All of you."

The Haruno girl gulped.

Kakashi-san placed a reassuring hand on her head, mussing it gently before stepping forward and pushing a small sheaf of papers across the desk. Curious in spite of herself, Kurenai leaned forward… and her eyes bulged at the sum inked out and circled twice in eye-catching red.

"This is—"

"A whole, fucking lot of money," Kiba said loudly, who had also noted the exorbitant amount. He sounded impressed—probably because he didn't quite understand what all this meant for _his _team. "_Ow_ why did you just kick me, Shino, you basta—"

"Quiet," Shino's voice, already deepening into a man's, was as firm as his implacable expression. "Don't interfere."

Shino and Hinata seemed to have grasped some of the implications of the events currently unfolding around them. The quiet boy was almost reverberating with tension at the killing intent, although he'd regained some of the colour in his face.

Hinata, however, was looking plaintively at her cousin. "A-ano… Neji-san?" the dark-haired girl stammered miserably.

Out of the corner of her eye, Kurenai saw Hinata's kinsman—Neji—stir, and turn his pale eyes towards her and her students. The look that flitted over his face might have been apologetic, but whatever it was had been brief and fleeting; Kurenai blinked and he was turned away again, his features a study in stoicism.

Kurenai resisted the urge to lay a comforting hand on the young girl's shoulder as her colleague had done to Haruno—it wouldn't do for the Hokage to see such a flagrant lack of self-discipline, no matter what _Kakashi _did. "Not now," she murmured softly, and the girl who had been her favourite student subsided, her eyes down-turned meekly. Kurenai felt another flash of anger and turned to face the source of her ire. "Kakashi, you—"

"Excuse me." He didn't even look at her, which got Kurenai's hackles up immediately. "Hokage-sama, you wish to send a scouting foray. My tracking abilities are a match for any Inuzuka, and my dogs are equal to theirs. Neji-kun's Byakugan is farther developed than the Hyūga heiress', and Gai's and Lee's Taijutsu skills are superior to even Kiba-kun's. Since Tenten has yet to recover from Gai-tachi's last mission, Sakura can take her place; her medical skills are more than merely well-developed thanks to your teachings." Was that irony edging his words?

Tsunade-sama certainly seemed to think so. "You have a lot of nerve, questioning my judgement, Kakashi," she said shortly. "There's a reason I told the little fucks outside _not _to let you know."

"Ah, but it wasn't their fault. I'm just that brilliant," Kakashi said, sounding completely serious. Kurenai felt her right eye twitch at the arrogant declaration.

'_Asshole,_' she thought viciously.

"How can I trust you'll stick to the orders in the mission statement—and _only _the orders in the mission statement—when you get close enough to Otogakure to smell their cesspools?" Tsunade snapped. "You can't seriously expect me to believe that you wouldn't be tempted to slip into the village proper to look for a certain someone, and damn the greater good."

"That's why Gai will be the one leading the mission," Kakashi said after a short pause. Kurenai's eyes widened: for a brief, trembling moment, he had looked truly dangerous. It appeared Tsunade had struck a rather painful nerve. "Still, who better to keep me in place than my self-declared, ah, 'Eternal Rival'?"

Kurenai didn't think she'd ever seen such an out-of-place Good Guy pose, but Gai managed it somehow.

"Meaning no offence," Kakashi continued, and yes, that was _definitely_ irony in his voice, "but any information involving Orochimaru is vital to our village." Kurenai noticed for the first time that the hand clenched behind Kakashi's back was trembling almost imperceptibly. "As such, the best of the best must be sent." Kurenai bristled, and felt her entire team, even meek little Hinata, do the same. "Even if you—"

"Shut up." Tsunade-sama leaned wearily back in her chair. "Just shut up and let me think."

Thankfully, Kakashi obeyed. A blessedly quiet Gai nudged him gently with an elbow, and Kurenai was surprised and angry to see the satisfied smile that flitted across Kakashi's masked face as he gently elbowed back.

"Okay," Tsunade-sama said after a long, tense moment. She held up a beautiful, slender hand. "Firstly, I have myself some chūnin ass to fry. Secondly, all of you had better_ damned well_ sit tight until I get back. Thirdly… sake…" she trailed off, rising to her feet and gliding elegantly to the door. Throwing it back with a bang, Tsunade-sama disappeared through it, the door rebounding shut with an audible _bang-snick_.

Loud, barely muffled shouting commenced. Kurenai thought she heard someone sob "_please _don't kill us!" through the door, but couldn't really be sure, being that she had just fixed all of her attention and mounting fury on the self-satisfied looking Elite Jōnin standing before her.

"Kakashi," she said coldly. "I'm sure you know just how rude stealing a mission from another team is considered."

"He _what_?" Kiba yelped. Well, now Kiba got it, too.

"Kiba-kun, please," Hinata pleaded. Startled, Kiba obeyed.

Kurenai felt the reassuring young presences of her students at her back and felt warmed by their quiet support. "If you have any decency whatsoever, you'll withdraw that money and that request _right now_," she lifted her chin proudly. "My team earned this recognition; we should be able to accept missions without worrying about anyone else waltzing in and taking them from under our noses!"

"Maa, maa… I never thought you to be the narrow-minded type, Kurenai-san," Kakashi's voice was deceptively light: the visible eye was no longer lazy, but hard. "But this isn't about recognition, and even if it were, you'd have to admit to being outmatched here, _kohai_—"

"Kakashi," Gai's normally boisterous voice was warning, and the iron in it shut even Kiba's mouth, which opened again in angry protest. "That was uncalled for, and unnecessary." With a little more of his usual sparkle: "Such a Beauteous Lady as Yuuhi-san clearly deserves more than Hasty Words and the Cold Manner you are currently exhibiting. It is most Unyouthful of your usually Hip—"

"No, let him continue," Kurenai said. She was breathing quickly, now. What was it about Hatake Kakashi that made her lose the cool that she had practiced for years to maintain? The arrogant bastard had the audacity to believe that simply because he was her senior in rank and her superior in ability, he had first pick? Did he think he could just twist the Hokage around his finger?

Of course, she'd seen firsthand just how nasty Kakashi could get when challenged—his famous dressing-down of Umino Iruka had proved that—but that had been uncalled for. And then to act as if he has every right…

The _nerve_.

"I want to know where he gets off thinking he can just throw his scrawny ass around like this, then insult me when I question the legitimacy of his actions," Kurenai felt Hinata tugging pleadingly on her dress, and this time, she took the girl's hand reassuringly. Damnit, her children deserved more than being passed over for another team… again. She wouldn't let it happen. She _wouldn't_. "And don't think I don't know why you want this mission," she said, lowering her voice. "Someone seems a little anxious to get close to Otogakure, and I think Tsunade-sama had it right, worrying about you. All this to catch a glimpse of a certain Uchiha, huh?"

Both Rock Lee and the Haruno girl inhaled sharply, and the cooling emotion in Kakashi's eye flared again as it widened in anger. While the word "traitor" had gone unsaid, the looks on the faces of all assembled implied it was the word foremost in everyone's mind.

"Yuuhi-san," Kurenai hadn't known that Gai's voice could get that quiet. "What are you trying to imply about my rival here?"

"Maybe that he has his own interests in mind?" Kurenai said acidly. She heard the self-righteousness in her voice and hated it, but it was _true_, when all she wanted was for her own team to have the recognition they deserved… "Maybe he saw an opportunity to fix a mistake that should never have been made?"

"Yuuhi-san," Gai said again. "Excuse me, but Kakashi is a fine shinobi of Konoha and—"

"Enough, Gai," Kakashi said dismissively. "I don't need to defend myself to her, and it's not worth arguing over." But Kurenai sensed a lie. Although he was looking down with studied boredom, as if finding something terribly fascinating with the sandals he wore, both of his hands were now clenched at his sides and shaking visibly. She felt a prickle of victory.

"That's because I'm right, aren't I? You're trying to right a wrong?" she asked sweetly. "A couple of years too late, isn't it? Then again, that's not anything new to Tardy-san here." The air was thickening ominously again, but Kurenai forged ahead, turning to face a stone-featured Gai: "Kakashi-_sama _is a man of many morals, I'm sure, the least of which is that teamwork ethic he likes to talk about."

"S-sensei, please…" Kurenai squeezed Hinata's hand harder, in apology.

Kakashi's head lifted very slightly, and Kurenai would have taken that for a warning, but, still smarting from the brush-off he'd given her, she couldn't help giving the knife just _one more twist_: "Except," she said ruthlessly, feeling an cruel triumph rising in her chest, "if he had practised it as much as he preached it, his team wouldn't be scattered to the four winds and he so desperate for a second chance!"

The killer intent scythed into her with all the force of a gale wind.

For a moment, she thought she had been torn open, her insides seeing the outside and her mouth stretched open in a silent scream. Then she realised that Kakashi had not moved except to take two large steps nearer to her, now so close that she could distinguish the dark of his pupil from the slightly lighter iris of his natural eye.

He hadn't done much, really. Except make her feel like she was dying.

Hinata slid to the floor, her hand gone limp. Kiba was not faring much better, and even Shino couldn't hide his fear. Behind Gai, the Haruno girl had gone white as a sheet, standing only with Rock Lee's stolid support. Neji darted forward to check on Hinata, shooting Kurenai a slightly reproving glance that she barely registered. She was too busy remembering to breathe, because the pressure atop her head was every bit as capable of crushing her into the ground as it so threatened.

"_Enough_, Kakashi." Gai placed a firm hand on Kakashi's shoulder. Through dimming vision, Kurenai noted that the Taijutsu master's grip was white-knuckled. "You're punishing people who are completely unrelated to your personal conflict."

"How nice," The cold cheer in Kakashi's voice made it sound ten times more dangerous than it would have been had he growled the words.

"Stop it," Gai said sharply. "You're being petty. Didn't you just say it wasn't worth arguing over?"

Kakashi didn't say anything in reply, but the pressure lessened slowly, and Kurenai began to breathe again. She was trembling. Trembling harder than Kakashi's hands.

Neji straightened, as did Hinata, and that reminded Kurenai to check on her other students. "Kiba?" Her voice shook, damn it—she forcibly quelled the tremor before speaking again. "Shino?"

"We're c-cool," Kiba got to his feet. "Damn," he whistled softly, and Kurenai noted with a spark of irritation that intrigue and admiration coloured his voice. "The guy's one mean sonuvabitch…"

Thankfully, Kurenai's less than polite answer was cut off as the door banged open again.

"What the _fuck_ is going on?" Tsunade-sama's roar had them all skittering back into their original positions. "Kakashi, you inconsiderate ass, you almost made Kotetsu shit his pants."

That startled a smile from Rock Lee and Kiba, and even Kurenai smiled slightly. She had no doubt that between Tsunade and Kakashi's combined killing auras, anyone would have been quite overwhelmed.

She had.

"Kakashi, if you so much as look funny at anyone else, I'll take your other eye away, and I won't be feeling generous enough to give you a new one," Tsunade-sama snapped. "If you'd all just stop your bickering, I'll tell you what I've decided." She slid tiredly back into her seat, shooting a look of reprimand at the now docile-looking jōnin assembled. "Kakashi has a point, and the money to back it, but we don't have so many shinobi to spare that I can send you all on one information gathering mission."

Kurenai's heart sank. "Hokage-sama!" Sure, the amount of money _was _impressive for a bribe, but…

"Team Kurenai will be sent on a B-ranking mission by the border to retrieve a scroll. Should Kakashi-tachi run into any trouble, there will be at least some possibility of back-up and assistance. Obtaining the scroll is of greater priority than its transport back to Konoha, so Team Kurenai will wait for word from Kakashi-tachi before returning here."

Kakashi and Gai nodded in silent acquiescence. After a moment, Kurenai followed suit, although she did so with markedly more reluctance.

"You can pick up your respective mission statements and the finer details from Umino Iruka. Now, all of you get the Hell out and prepare already. Except you, Kurenai. Kakashi, wait outside, _out _of range of that freakish hearing of yours."

With unnatural quiet and cool efficiency, Gai and Lee ushered everyone out, leaving the two women behind. Kurenai barely noticed their departure, busy fidgeting as Tsunade-sama's now calm golden-brown eyes looked through her. She inhaled softly. "Hokage-sama, I… I apologise for my misconduct."

"Rubbish," Tsunade-sama said, and Kurenai was suddenly reminded that this woman, though youthful in appearance, was old enough to be her mother. "Kurenai, Kakashi is a talented man spoiled by my predecessors. I won't deny that I'm a little fond of him myself, but that's not relevant." She inspected a pristinely red-lacquered nail. "It's not in the job description of a Hokage to apologise, but as a woman and shinobi, I feel I should."

"…Hokage-sama?"

"What just happened wasn't fair," Tsunade-sama said bluntly. "Well, tough. Life's not fair, and you'll have to live with it. But I _can_ tell you that I _know_ it wasn't fair, and that I hope you'll keep faith with me for making such a decision."

"But _why_ did you make it?" Kurenai's mouth said. Realising she'd just cheeked the most powerful woman in the village, she paled. "I mean—"

"The money helped," Tsunade-sama admitted. "But really, the main reason I didn't want him here in the first place was because I knew he'd act that pathetic. And when Hatake 'Don't Want No Help' Kakashi acts that pathetic, people cave."

She stood again, turned to regard the sunset over the mountains upon which the faces of her predecessors were carved, and where her own was taking shape. "Besides… I won't mince words. The team he just assembled _would _have been ideal, if only it had no attachments to the traitor Uchiha Sasuke."

"But since it did, his team _wasn't _perfect," Kurenai said sharply, trying not to sound as sulky as she felt.

"He thought of that, and that's why he brought in Maito Gai to lead." The Godaime's wry grin surprised her. "The brat's too smart for his own good. After that, I had no real reason to say no—not without pissing off at least two of our most renowned Jōnin Elite for no reason other than that I didn't want to admit to being wrong." She held up a hand to forestall Kurenai's retort. "Besides, having two stupid, pig-headed men angry with me would have been far worse than having one reasonable woman frustrated, since I hoped that she at least would hear me out."

Kurenai wasn't about to be pacified that easily. "What if I didn't?"

"Then it would probably have been as shit as having two stupid men angry at me," Tsunade-sama mused. "Of course, I knew the chances of you listening to me were greater than Kakashi's pride allowing him to stay put long enough to issue him some sort of bogus mission to get him out of the way. I'm not so sure about now, but he was a huge one for pride when he was younger. You could tell him his nose was flat and he'd cut _yours_ off to spite you."

Two hours ago, Kurenai would have laughed at the idea. Now, she shuddered and resisted the ridiculous urge to check that hers was still attached to her face.

"So I figured that if I'd let you go, Kakashi would have caught up to you by nightfall, because the only way to keep him obedient is to give him a mission, and even I can't pull one out of thin air with the lot of you staring me down like that." She sucked her teeth thoughtfully, "In hindsight, it would have been better to make sure he was out of the village before briefing you." Kurenai wondered when the older woman had produced the sake, but murmured her thanks as a cup was pushed into her reach.

"And all Kakashi has to do is tout that rival nonsense and Gai'd be eating out of his palm—you saw how it worked earlier," Tsunade-sama barked a mirthless laugh before quaffing the contents of her cup and reaching over to refill it. "And if Kakashi would talk his best friend—ah, 'rival'—into going, he'd for sure feel no qualms about dragging my promising new apprentice into disgrace, good intentions or not. Worst, she might even have followed them willingly. Idiots."

Kurenai didn't know what to say. She settled for swilling the warm liquid inside its tiny porcelain prison, feeling Tsunade-sama's golden eyes on her.

Finally: "It's just… he said some things earlier."

Tsunade-sama snorted. "What are you, a teenager? For what it's worth—and I don't know why I'm defending him, the ungrateful little brat—he doesn't mean to act that stupid, you know." More kindly: "You have Sarutobi-kun, don't you? So you have to know annoying it is to deal with someone with a Y-chromosome."

Kurenai let out a watery laugh at that. She thought about Kakashi's trembling hands. The strange eagerness for which he'd thrown his friends and his money into what had plainly been an almost desperate request. She thought she understood, but she didn't have to like it. Or forgive it.

"Of course, Tsunade-sama," Kurenai murmured. "I just… my team…"

Tsunade's expression softened. "I know, but they'll get their chance. They're young yet, and it's the nature of a chūnin team to do chūnin-ranked jobs, particularly if they've only just reached the rank." She regarded the ceiling thoughtfully. "Sarutobi-sensei liked his proverbs from Nami no Kuni, ironically. 'The longer the potato remains in the ground, the larger it becomes, and the flowers more beautiful.'"

Kurenai blinked.

Tsunade-sama sighed. "No one really sees the size of the potato before digging it up to eat. But leave it in the safe earth longer, and with every frost it weathers, the stronger it becomes, and the more beautiful its blooms." She returned Kurenai's smile. "Time and patience will show that your students are the same." She waved her hand imperiously, the effect only slightly diminished by the little cup in her hand sloshing sake over several important-looking documents. "You may leave. But first, send Hatake in."

* * *

Earlier that evening, Gai had been cooking dinner when one of Kakashi's dogs had breezed past the security traps and into the kitchen, then dodged a little too late. After apologising for throwing the carving knife at the put-out ninken, Gai had hurriedly assured him that no one could feasibly tell the difference, then argued that it'd been about time Kakashi had given his dogs a hair cut, anyway.

"Where's Pakkun?" he'd inquired, after the irate canine had told him exactly where he could shove the knife.

"Gone to get Sakura. Which reminds me…"

Gesturing for the dog to dispose of the few dozen strands of severed hairs ("Your mess, your job"), Gai had yanked the blade from the wall, keeping an eye on the soup and an ear out to catch the gist of the dog's message. After isolating the words "lead", "Otogakure", "urgent" and (most importantly) "please" from the hurried explanation, Gai had set the soup to cool and packed enough provisions and equipment for two.

With instructions for Kakashi's dog to place the two packs in the hollow stump eighty metres east of the village gates, Gai then double-checked that the young Sakura-chan was alerted to a Situation in their beloved Hokage's office, rounded up the able-bodied members of his team and dropped a hastily scribbled note by the sleeping Tenten's hospital bed.

By the time Gai had arrived at his destination, team in tow, Kakashi had somehow managed to piss off _every_ damn individual assembled. And throughout the entire confrontation, when Gai wasn't trying to defuse the Negative Feelings, he spent as much time as he could staring at his friend, because it was strange to see Kakashi so focussed outside of a combat situation. Although, Gai thought, with something—or quite possibly someone—as important to Kakashi on the line, it may well have been a battle after all. How they had all survived the combined wrath of two respectably powerful women was quite beyond Gai, but he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Having dismissed his cute students to prepare for their mission, Gai and his rival were now standing one floor and two corridors away from the Hokage's office. The other jōnin had irritably assured him that no, not even _his _hearing was so good as to hear the conversation going on _there _from _here_, and could Gai _please _go away? In return, Gai had made it abundantly clear that he wasn't going anywhere—_yes_, he'd already packed, and for his Rival, too—until he was sure their Beloved and Illustrious Leader was not aiming to get Kakashi alone in order to fillet and serve him with foie gras and red wine.

Kakashi had said something rude—but unmistakably trendy, as usual—before the two of them had lapsed into a mutual silence. Of course, few silences between friends were truly desirable if they could be comfortably broken (or so Gai liked to tell the irritable Kakashi, who liked his "peace"). So, partially to retaliate for Kakashi hiding behind his trashy romance novel when Gai was perfectly available as an alternate method of distraction, but also somewhat to act as big an asshole as Kakashi liked to be, Gai broke the quiet as loudly as he dared.

"My Foolish Rival," he said now. "Yuuhi-san's Knightly Paramour will surely Avenge this Most Terrible Slight done to his lady's Beauteous Person, and his Retribution will not leave you in the most Pleasurable State of—"

"Cut the crap, Gai, and fucking _attempt _to talk like a normal person," Kakashi said wearily. He turned a page with perhaps more force than necessary.

Gai cut the crap. Being an asshole was tiring, and he had no idea how his friend managed it on such a regular basis. "Asuma's going to kill you."

"Good thing we'll be out of the country by the time he finds out, then," Kakashi's eye arced with mock-cheer.

"Ah, but you'll have to return sometime," Gai said shortly, eyeing a low-hanging beam and wondering if it would hold his weight for a thousand one-handed chin-ups. "It's not like you can avoid him forever."

"Unless I'm killed in the line of duty, of course," Kakashi observed wryly. "It might even be a good idea, if Asuma-kun's angry enough."

Gai forgot the chin-ups and Kakashi's earlier reprimand, instead striking an exaggerated Good Guy pose. "Such dismal Fatalism is so very Hip and Modern! Unfortunately, it is Unbefitting of a Man possessing your great and varied Accomplishments—"

"And it would Behoove me if you would deign to Converse in the Language of Plebeians," Kakashi mocked languidly, turning a page.

Clearly, Kakashi had understood him perfectly well. Gai scowled. "Stop ruining my fun."

His friend absently waved a hand at the empty space two feet to the left of Gai, face almost glued to the book. _No one _could read at that sort of range—he was obviously feigning it in order to be aggravating. "Oh, no, keep talking. It's quite fun."

Kakashi was a bastard.

"…what were we talking about again?"

"_You_ were talking about fittings and hips and trends and my accomplishments," Kakashi said in what he evidently felt to be a helpful manner. He turned another page.

Clenching his jaw, Gai beamed, an action that offset the tic in his cheek quite nicely. "Aha! So you _were _listening!"

Kakashi pushed his nose further into his book. "Never." He looked up suddenly, and Gai stifled a chuckle as he watched Kakashi's ears twitch forward in a manner that was almost canine. He pocketed the book. "Saa, Kurenai's out and Hokage-sama wants me."

Gai's brow furrowed faintly. "Well, I'll wait for you, since I've already gotten our things packed and…" he trailed off as something occurred to him. "Kakashi?"

The other jōnin casually formed the hand seal for the translocation jutsu. "Mmm?"

Gai was not gnashing his teeth. "You told me you couldn't hear what was happening in Hokage-sama's office from here!"

"Yes, well…" Kakashi's visible eye arced aggravatingly before he disappeared in a light puff of sulphur and smoke, his words lingering behind him. "I lied."

* * *

Kurenai closed the door quietly, then blinked at the mess in the mission hall. Three chūnin bearing signs of mild abuse were hastily tidying the scattered papers and scrolls and mopping up spilled ink. She recognised one of the trio as the pre-genin chūnin-sensei who had come to fetch her and her team. "Umino-kun? What happened here?"

He'd jumped at the sound of her voice. "N-nothing," he quavered, and barely missed tripping over a tipped inkpot. He ducked hurriedly and rescued it from the floor. "Just…"

"Monster," Kotetsu moaned from the corner where he was lying curled into a foetal position. The normally cheerful chūnin was sporting a bruise on his left cheek. "Our village is being ruled by a _monster_…"

"Shaddup," Izumo hissed, throwing a brush at Kotetsu that his friend failed to duck in time. It bounced off the side of his spiky-haired head. "Quit being so melodramatic. Do you want her to hear? I won't be cleaning anything if you bring her down on our heads again, you stupid prick."

"'Again'? What's that supposed to mean, asshole? It wasn't even my fault in the first place—!"

Both fell silent as Kakashi materialised in a whirl of smoke and leaves in the empty space between Kurenai and Iruka, causing the chūnin-sensei to jump back defensively. "Hatake-san!"

"Yo," Kakashi said flatly, his shoulder whispering against Kurenai's as he stepped around and past her. Briskly sliding open the door to Hokage-sama's office, he slipped inside before shutting it gently behind him, leaving three blinking chūnin, a stony-faced Kurenai and stark silence in his wake.

Iruka broke it. "That man is absurdly inconsiderate sometimes," he grumbled, toeing at some of the leaf litter with a sandaled foot. "Sometimes I wonder why…" He paused when he saw Kurenai's face. "Yuuhi-san, is something the matter?" One of his dark brown eyes was ringed by a deepening bluish hue, but both were soft with concern.

Kurenai looked down at her hands. They were fisted, like Kakashi's had been.

"Yuuhi-san?"

She was still trembling.

* * *

Sakura, Lee and Neji were waiting for them, tossing Gai and Kakashi their respective packs and falling into step with the two jōnin.

Gai took point, as per Kakashi's promise to Tsunade, with Kakashi travelling just behind and to the right. He carried the missive from Jiraiya that Tsunade had received; it detailed all the suspicious activity in Rice Field Country and the finer details of their investigation. Following Gai's silent hand signals, Neji fell back to act as their rearguard. Sakura and Lee travelled side by side, roughly in the centre of the formation—it was standard protocol for medic-nin to be as protected as possible.

Konoha's immense gates slid shut with an aged moan as the five disappeared from the roadway proper, taking to the trees, and the forest swallowed them up obligingly.

_Mission__ Start._

* * *


End file.
